about halfway into even a mundane lie I usually feel an overpowering surge of conscience and blurt out the truth. but I always loved children's books about people who lie and their lies snowball out of control. Somehow, instead of impressing upon me the idea that lying was bad, it taught me that lying begets adventure. The great benefit to lying, it seemed, is that after lying, life throws you crazy curve balls, which you must dodge using your resourceful, on the spot storytelling ability *(that was a mixed sports metaphor, i know. frankly, baseball and dodgeball can both suck my humiliatingly and hilariously, clumsy dick, ok? also, for the record, i use phrases involving dicks as a manner of speech. i don't have one, but somehow there seem to be better jokes involving dicks. one time, i had a dress with very large pockets, and a banana i was saving for lunch, and i walked around hoping that people would comment on the banana so that i would be able to say "is that a banana in my pocket, or am i just happy to see you". ok admittedly the joke would have worked better if someone else had a banana in their pocket, but sadly, that just doesn't happen enough)
anyway, i inadvertently started living a lie. not on purpose. not because i ve always secretely fantasized about the thrill, although i have. just because im supposed to be straight (i don't like softball, i dated boys before, that makes you straight, right? oh. ) and then i fell in love with a girl, and didn't want to get disowned. annnnnnywho.... its all actually quite tragic and dramatic, but on the upside (oh those elusive things), this good girl finally finds her self trapped in an ever snowballing lie.
ah, living the dream
